Introducing Mateo...

It’s been a good week. I decided to treat myself to a drink at the bar in the city alone. Doesn’t sound much like a reward since I am alone, huh? I’m used to it. Loneliness seems to go along with me like kitty goes with cat. I still can’t believe that I agreed to this journal thing. So unlike me but I guess this part of that whole growing thing Angel has been badgering me about. She is one of my good good girlfriends, by the way. Well, as I sit here secretly hoping to get lucky, I guess I can put my blackberry to good use and tell you a little about me. My name is Mateo and I’m gay. I’m 6’1, 180 pounds. I got chest. I got legs. I got ass. I got dick. Baby, I could put Tyson Beckford in the unemployment line.


It makes me feel good when I walk in the club and the boy’s heads turn. Meeting new guys seems to be my favorite past time these days. I just got out of an almost year relationship with a great guy. But I guess until “Mr. Right” comes along this will be it. I just ordered my second gin and tonic. That’s my favorite drink by the way. Like I said, this week was a good week for me. Work was good. I’ve been on my new job now for a little over a month. Thank God I got this job as a Project Assistant for this logistics company. Being unemployed for almost a year was working my last nerve and also depressing the hell out of me. I know my friends were tired of lending me money and definitely tired of listening to my frequent pity parties.

I had lunch with a friend on Tuesday. It’s always good to catch up and “kee kee” with the girls. Also it’s good to know that I’m not the only bitch with issues. So let me tell you about last weekend. I had a date. Probably one of the first dates I’ve had since my breakup with Ronald. I must admit I was a little nervous for more than one reason. The main reason was because I met him online. We all know how the kids do when it comes to online sites. They lie. From his picture he looked pretty decent, a little thick but that’s how I tend to like them these days. I need something to hold on to when I’m “gettin it in!” You know what I mean? So me and the guy had been exchanging text messages the week prior. He worked as part of a work crew that was widening the streets in the city. We are the same age and he was from Ohio. So he sends me a text message on last Thursday and it says, “Movies Friday on me.” Ok, that was kinda cute. That is what I was thinking to myself. So after talking it over with my friend Joey, I decided to go. What the hell, I didn’t have shit else to do.

So it’s Friday and I am walking up to his condo door. The butterflies in my stomach are having a party that I clearly wasn’t invited to. I knock three times. The door opens. OH HELL NO! This motherfucka aint thick. His ass is fat. Like 5’11, 300 pounds kinda fat. This can’t be happening. I was standing in the doorway shocked. And then to top it all off the first thing this bitch says to me is, “Do you still want to continue on this date?” No “Hello.” No “Good evening.” No “Nice to meet you.” So what this meant to me is that you knew your ass was a fucking hippo and that pic you had online was from 3 years ago when your ass wont stuffing your face every chance you got. Oh I wanted to read his ass for filth and march directly down the steps and head home in shame. So after calming myself down I decided to at least be polite and walk in. I walked into his apartment and I thought I was walking into my great Aunt Lois’s house. It smelled like an old person’s house! I mean, it was decorated with all this old-timey furniture. When I asked if he lived with his mother or something he said no, he had decorated the place himself. So what I didn’t tell you was that prior to me going on the date I told Joey to call me about 20 minutes after my arrival in the event I needed a getaway. Lord knows I was relieved when my phone rang. When I explained to him I had a friend that was stranded with a flat tire and had to go rescue them, he said “I understand, you got a rain check you can cash in anytime, cutie” All I could think of was that I had been got.

Well I think that is enough for today. I see this cute guy down the bar who has been giving me the eye for the past 10 minutes. I think I will make my way down there. Wish me luck.