I am so sick and tired of clients’ unreasonable expectations, which clearly fall outside of the stipulations of the photography agreement that individual (not corporate/commercial) clients sign. I do take individual sessions by request or by referral, and a few months ago, I took on a client, recommended by Angel’s good friend Mateo. His name is Tisha, or should I say her name is Tisha. Whatever. Tisha, made her initial inquiry – some promo shots to be used for a series of shows and club bookings in the coming months. We set up an agreement and determined the stipulations, particularly surrounding Photoshop. Now, let me tell you that Photoshop is not like magic. Nor is it the equivalent of facial and body reconstruction. Doctor’s are paid for that. Not photographers. It is not liposuction, it is not botox and it will not cure cancer. I just had to put that disclaimer out there. Sure we see magazine covers and the models and actresses look damn near porcelain. I’ve shot a couple of those covers. However, it is up to the magazine to decide how much Photoshop we use, despite whatever I advise them. And magazines are typically very, very lucrative bookings.
Ok, so now that the logistics have been made known, I shot with Tisha, who is indeed a very lovely…girl. I will not disclose her age, except to say that she is somewhere betwixt infancy and the grave. :) However, we shot, a very challenging shoot might I add, but the check cashed so we worked it for a solid eight hours, that was including the uberextensive set up time for her make up and wig changes, and all the wrapping they did to make her body look more feminine and feline. Eight hours. So after the shoot, I send her the proofs, she sends me back a few to retouch and there we have it. Traditionally there is some back and forth regarding the retouching, but its usually to my clients’ satisfaction and I’d never had an issue such as this one. But not Tisha. Oh, no.
The extent to Tisha’s retouching bordered on insane. I mean insane. There is a limit to which I will spend on any individual project, despite the money I’m being paid for the absurd requests. We went through three weeks of back and forth over the retouching of her "real-life retouched" nose ("could you make this more pronounced, it looks a little unreal here, especially after the third surgery"; "could you make the ass a little rounder here and remove the lumps"). Best believe that as a photographer, I've seen it all, drag queens, nudity, placenta, you name it, so I'm not discriminatory. A paid client is a paid client. Money is green and that's what matters. I do my absolute best to ensure that each client is utterly happy and satisfied because I know that may need to my next booking. But Tisha - no. Not having it.
Long story short, after I kindly told her that it would be in her best interests to stop at a certain point or take the shots to another studio, that she decided that it was best to take me to small claims court. Are. You. F*cking. Kidding? After struggling to reason with this her/him, I finally decided, fine, take me to court, but a countersuit would be forthcoming for the damages incurred, the time wasted and I wish I could sue for her/him for just being a 6 foot tall walking mammoth of a bitch.
The verdict? I’m currently owed a nice sum of pocket change which will be used to pay for some new lighting equipment, I’d been dying to purchase. Eric and I are off to dinner for the night. But I had to tell you girls the craziness that I’ve encountered. Mateo – NO MORE REFERRALS from you. Sometimes ladies, the money is just not worth the time.
XOXO
K
Live free my lovelies!
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