No More Monogamy?

In the spirit of freedom and love and all that is sacred to me, it would only be appropriate of me to readily admit that I am not, nor have I ever been a completely monogamous woman. I just have the notion that we as humans were meant to share love and experience the fullness that life has to offer. That’s probably the reason why I really enjoy photography. It allows me to travel and experience life and places that I would ordinarily have never dreamed of exploring. When I was younger, I worked for a modeling and talent agency as a receptionist. I slowly moved up the ranks through the office and became the assistant to the owner, but I discovered that I really enjoyed working with the photographers, and hearing all about their stories and exploits as they traveled here and there for various assignments.


After an apprenticeship with a much older and very hot (well-known, might I add) photographer, I began to venture off on my own, starting my own portfolio, and eventually picking up my own clients. And let’s just say that I learned more than the importance of great lighting and location from my mentor. “Viktor” was a man with many lovers, many of whom were in the same social circles. My gosh, that man could charm the panties off a nun tied to a cross with Holy Water running through her veins. He just had “that way” about him. Anyway, Viktor was all about love and flexibility and cherishing each moment with whomever, whenever he chose. I loved it. Despite his age, he seemed so youthful and vibrant. He’s been long gone from my life in “that way” for a number of reasons which I won’t divulge right now…except to say that things got just a bit…what’s a good word? Complicated.

Meanwhile, having met Eric, someone who really is young and youthful, but a bit more reserved in his views on relationships and dating…this is quite the change for me. See Eric wants only “us”, just “us”. I’m not so sure how I’m feeling about that right now. For instance, I just left dinner with a former lover, “Benjamin”, who still hasn’t changed a bit since we last saw each other. Benjamin is that type of man who never seems to age, despite his increasingly graying beard (which I actually find quite attractive). We’re currently in the same city on travel, he’s here for a public speaking engagement, and I’m here on assignment of course. Dinner was as exquisite as always, and Benjamin was still quite the suggestive flirt – hands casually rubbing my legs underneath the table, the long suggestive looks, etc. And it took everything in my power not to accompany him back to his hotel and enjoy dessert.

But alas, there was Eric, calling and texting like the cute little puppy dog he is – subconsciously marking his territory. This thing with Eric, it’s great. And sure Benjamin is pure eye candy, and that’s all it would be is a quick thrill, but trying to tame these carnal urges is becoming harder and quite glum actually. Maybe I’m just a new age woman, I don’t know…but part of me is starting to miss the days of free flying. I’m not foaming at the mouth, dying for kids and the white picket fence like so many other women I know. Who does that anymore? Who has the time or energy?


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