Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

Last weekend I'm at this picnic for my church. I joined this particular church six months ago because (1) it had the most single men (2) it had the most single successful men and (3) the women didn't seem put off by my fabulosity. When they say that "only time will tell," they clearly had this church in mind. Yes, I did find a nice little deacon that brought me closer to God and had me speaking tongues. And yes, he was very successful. In fact he's a partner at a big law firm here in town. So, I'm happy there. But the women...OMG the women. It seemed that as soon as I started wearing my good shit and the minister started breaking his neck to catch me after church to hold my hand and wish me good tidings throughout the week, these women nearly lost their minds.

The stares and the whispers are enough to make me want to lose my religion but it's the constant eyeballing that has me wanting to add my name to the property of the state roster. Let me give you an example. At this little picnic I wore my navy blue jumper that wraps around my neck and shows off my size 7 and gym fit curves in a sophisticated way. To throw things off I did throw on my gold Gucci pumps with purse to match and I threw on some accessories. Before the picnic I had a spa appointment with Angel so the hair, toes and nails were done. I was looking good but I mean damn ain't that the name of the game. I took my son, Xander to the picnic to hang with some of his friends and he too was looking like he just signed a deal with Ralph Lauren and was dressed to impress. Again, it's not my fault I believe in the importance of public daily appearance.

Anyway I get to the picnic and before I could step out my car I heard, "Oh Lord she's here." Now had Xander not been there I would have graciously stepped out and asked the no class idiot, "who the hell was she talking about?" But since I' m trying to lead by example with my 8 year old I just did as God would have me do and turned the other cheek. The two of us walked our little selves up to the picnic despite the icy stares and had a great time. The men in deacon and trustee board loved me and made sure I was kept busy with conversation. Even the pastor invited me to join him at his table. I can't even tell you how many women left the table when I sat down to talk the good Book with the pastor.

I guess now would be the time to mention that Pastor Hill is single, my age and seems to be very much interested. But I'm not ready to give up my worldly life and God knows the only First Lady I want to be is that of the country. So, Pastor Hill is not an option...right now. Too bad the women at my church aren't secure enough to look past the pretty face and see that I like them are looking for my Prince Charming. I mean damn can't the pretty girls get a man too? When I say not one woman and I mean not one said more than two words to me the entire picnic I am not exaggerating. Even as husbands were talking holes in my head their spouses just stood back giving me the "don't touch my man look."

It's really a shame when women are so intimidated by other women. Just because I appear to be single does not mean that I want every man I come in contact with. To be honest it's quite the opposite with me. I'm very selective. As sweet as I am it just amazes me that women hate me so much. Why can't we all just get along?